Many statistics and articles would prove that a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is doomed from the beginning. Matter of fact, I used to think so myself until it happened: I fell for someone who lived outside of my geographical parameters. Although my realistic side is much more developed than it was a decade ago and the single thought of dating someone outside of my city seemed so juvenile, I still fell. There was only one solution: Rather than thinking over the 1,000s of reasons why I once said I wouldn’t do it or do it again (yup! It happened a few times), I came up with 7 reasons why I couldn’t stop it.
Here they are:
Top 7 reasons why you should consider an LDR:
1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder: Because he’s/she’s far away, the moment you lay eyes on each other this feeling of validation overcomes you. You know that very first minute, when your heart skips a beat and your jitters and feelings of anxiety calm down because he/she laid his/her eyes on you and smiled with reciprocal relief. You tell yourself: Yup! This is exactly why I am doing this. This is why I am going through the heartache. For that one minute of complete affirmation.
2. Every moment spent together is memorable: Maybe you can’t invite him for a quick drink or make him your last minute plus one for a local show but when you see each other (no matter how far and how often you spend time together) the show will feel like the best show you’ve ever had, you will remember every detail including the steak cut he/she ordered at dinner and possibly add all the details to your diary that same night.
3. Communication: You learn about yourself and about him at a much deeper level. Every moment seems important to share so you communicate much more than if you were in the same town: you text, you Facetime and you email regularly throughout the day. For instance, you will text about the small things and for the usual words of affection but FaceTiming and e-mailing become your only tool to share and discuss about the most important things like: How you’re unhappy about your new pedicure and sending out your flight itinerary. You will also use the phone to say “goodnight” around the same times every day which will result in a long conversation that’ll keep you up for 20 hours and sleeping the next 4 before you head back to the office.
4. Intimacy will be A-MAZING: Sex, intimate dinners, deep and personal conversations…it WILL all feel like you’re Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and the movie was written about you.
5. STRENGTH and SACRIFICE are things you learn quickly: Takes a lot of strength and sacrifice to be able to maintain something substantial and meaningful at a distance. You constantly test your limits. Some days will be good and you will feel strong and capable and other days you will want to stay in bed in the fetal position with a bag of oreos and sappy movies. Rest assured, you are not alone and this is absolutely normal.
6. Independance: For the more independent lovers out there who don’t believe in all the romance, this is perfect for you. A long distance relationship can make you feel like you are in complete control of the situation from a distance and provide you with the space you need. You discover about your own interest individually which makes you have even more to say and share when you spend time together again.
7.You discover the meaning of true love quickly: Simple – why go through all this if it isn’t worth the sacrifice? Only you can answer that question.
There are a lot of things to consider. There are quite a few questions but although it may be too hard for some, if you are capable of handling it you will find great joy in the courting, the passion moments and the excitement. Keep in mind that there is no formula to making it work but in my opinion there are a few key ingredients to the success of an LDR and that is: willingness, prioritizing, communication, commitment and, of course, planning. Planning is probably the most important one because, let’s face it, if it is as passionate and worthy as you say it is, it won’t be an LDR for long. So go ahead…dream it and plan a (not so far) future!