- I should be a better (more competent, etc) person.
- I can’t do it.
- I’m a failure if I don’t get there within X amount of time.
- I’ll never be any different.
- The classics: I’m not (smart, thin, pretty, outgoing…) enough.
- It’s too stressful to handle.
- I’m such a pig.
- I’m not good enough yet.
- I am alone.
1. First step: Realize that you are doing it. Catching yourself is the first main step in stopping the automated behavior.
2. Second step: Realize what you just said. What exactly did you say? Was it something about your physique or your skills? Label it so you can understand the patterns. This will help you notice what triggered it.
3. Third step: Say it loud but with less importance. For example: “I just said I am so clumsy” …. ” By realizing it and revisiting your negative comment your brain will automatically label it as a thought and place less importance on it.
4. Fourth step: Breathe and proceed with your day.
To worry about your future. To feel strong emotions after a breakup. To want to just throw everything out the window and start over. To be afraid to take risks and chances. Those are all normal things that anyone can relate to. It doesn’t mean you are alone or incapable of overcoming new challenges, it just means you are human and you need more time. That’s YOUR way of doing things and its OK.
If you are asking yourself: Will all this do any good? The answer is YES. Ok fine, you won’t be a positive thinker overnight because it takes time and practice but in the end, you will treat yourself better. In the future, this will lead you to better relationships with not only yourself but with others. Soon enough, you should notice you have better energy and how it impacts the people around you.
Think about it: If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others?
Be good and do good to yourself.
P.S.: Care to share? What kind of negative self-talk do you engage with yourself?