So you went on a date. He had the perfect eyes, the perfect height and the perfect teeth. You’re convinced you saw one of your future babies peek through his eyes and you could talk to him for days about everything and nothing? But….why isn’t he calling you for a second date?
Yes! You’re hurt and you have a million questions. You are also confused and you demand answers. Before you let your nemesis take you to a texting frenzy, put down your phone, slap on some lipstick, poor yourself a drink and read this:
10 reasons why he never called back:
#10: You’re too much of a woman for him: You intimidate him. You make him feel like you’re wearing the pants and you don’t really need him except to procreate. So unlike your fabulous self, it’s safer to date a girl that he cares less about. He’s looking for someone with less self respect and/or confidence. Someone he can control. In other words, he doesn’t have much self esteem and you WOULD be wearing the pants.
#9: You look unstable: You are so worried about saying the wrong thing that you smile a lot, tilt your head to the side and nod all the time. Think of the visual. Pause. Yup! That’s the look of an unstable individual who’s a little boring too! He wants to know about you and what you do for fun. So shake it off, express yourself and say what you really feel no matter his reaction.
#8: Someone else: Ok he was curious enough to go on a date and it went well. But, could there be someone else? Technically, he’s not yet attached to anyone. Would it be wrong to shop around? Wait, isn’t that what you are doing as well? Dating is like fishing, until you find something good you’ll have to practice catch and release. Unfortunately, it wasn’t you. Chin up! Tomorrow’s date may be more promising.
#7: Men don’t chase parked cars: You sent him a thank you email after your date and he knew right then and there that you are obviously into him. You thought you it was the right thing to do? No! Men need to chase. By sending him that message you made it clear for him that you are ready and available to him. What happens next is the mystery and that veil of you lifts off. You are no longer a challenge and this is not longer a hunting game. You are just another girl. See, for you, it seemed like taking initiative like you would do at the office but in your romantic life, you should always let your date reach out to you first. Leave it to him to say things like: “Can’t wait to see you again!” Or “Let’s do this again soon”.
#6: He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings: He doesn’t know how to say: “it’s not you…it’s me”. Breaking up or letting go of someone is not easy and quite painful for some. He probably didn’t know how to politely decline and step aside by fear of hurting your feelings so he evaporated. Fine…you didn’t get closure but I mean who wants to date someone who doesn’t want them back right? Plus do you really want to hear what he has to say?
#5: He’s not really available: A lot of men will go on dates thinking they are ready for a new relationship. Once he gets to the date, everything gets too real and, all of a sudden, the candlelight dinner date looks like a scene out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Your warning signs: He talks about his girlfriend in a cute and almost protective way. As if she never left. Or he’ll mention her a little too often on your date. He’s obviously not emotionally available and it may be all too recent. There is no real time stamp on when you should start dating again. To each their own pace but while he’s finding himself and making peace with the past, you should find someone who’s already done the work, someone who’s ready and absolutely crazy about you.
#4: You seem high maintenance: After the date, all he can think about is if he can afford you. You look expensive girl! He feels like you may be too materialistic for him. Like the most important thing to you other than his job is his wallet. You may be portraying the image of a woman who is a bit shallow and selfish. You have to look well put together but still look like you can change a diaper or manipulate a steak.
#3: Tick Tock: You scared him. Don’t get me wrong having a 5 year plan is fine but detailing every bit of your house, your marriage and your babies may make him feel like you are rushing to the altar. So even though you’re thinking it, just casually mention what you aspire to and save the details. He really just wants to know if you have a plan – not where you fit him in that plan!
#2: No chemistry: he might’ve loved what you wrote on your profile, heard wonderful things about you through friends and he might’ve seen a couple of your best selfies but when you met, he felt no chemistry. He doesn’t think this can be a romantic relationship but a potential friendship? Possibly. Although men are visual creatures and fall in love with their eyes, they are also simple creatures; so no matter how beautiful your new pedicure looked or how shinny your hair looked, if he doesn’t feel like there is any chemistry, he can’t foresee a future with you.
#1: You had sex: Did you sleep with him on the first date? Giving up your “petunia” on the first date is too much too soon! I know you are probably thinking he’s your boyfriend now or you are closer to him now that you shared a passionate night under the sheets but you actually let him conquer his ultimate goal. What’s left to find out now? Why would he come back? Congratulations! He scored. The only thing you did was to re-affirm his ego. Next time, wait it out for a while longer. Get to know him and avoid intimate places by declining his night cap invites. He’ll respect you, chase you and want to wow you.
Clearly, there are no right reasons why he didn’t call you back. It’ll always hurt a little but the reality remains: He was just not that into you.