Romance can be fun, exhilarating and…creative? BONUS if your Mr. Right fell on your lap when you least expected it! Feels like faith doesn’t it?! “This time he has to be the one **sigh** Please god, don’t let this one go!” That moment when you convince yourself of it is when it happens – a few months in this new relationship and you get that creepy feeling of wanting to protect what you have with claws. In that moment, your spidey senses turn into mother bear senses and your sole focus revolves around the success of the relationship. Why? Because it seems like he walked barefooted from Australia. That’s why! Poor guy must be so tired. Ergh.
I don’t mean to pull the carpet under your feet but unfortunately, there is a very small window in which we become infatuated and ignore all the warning signs. So before you start picking out your wedding theme colors, here are 7 things you should never tolerate in a relationship:
- Emotional or verbal abuse:While physical bruises are easy to see and are a constant reminder of the trouble in your relationship, emotional bruises are not as visible. If your partner is verbally abusive , you might not see it because it may seem minor. Just keep an eye out for what you allow him to treat you or say to you. Something may very well be minor one day then storm into more controlling behaviors that can cause much bigger problems for you in the long haul like: self-doubt, low self-esteem and depression.
- Cheating: Some people are capable of letting it go and make #lemonade out of lemons with that one. That’ll never be me. If your partner really cares about you, believe me this won’t even be a topic of conversation or a slight doubt in your mind. #ditch #erasereplace #replaceembrace
- Flirting: We all like to look but as long as it’s not disrespectful to your partner, that’s fine. Now, making a move or flirting bluntly to insinuate your partners interest in someone else is a total act of disrespect to you. That goes whether you are in the room or not. If ever you find yourself in a similar situation, I would give one warning or NEXXXT!!!!!
- Lies: Telling lies is a BIG no-no. Mind you some white lies are acceptable like: “yes honey that dress looks damn good on you booboo”. In fact, they may even be mandatory. I mean the type of lies that make your ears burn a little bit. Did he say he was at his friends place but you don’t fully believe it cause he smells like some cheap perfume? Some lies will bring the psycho girlfriend in you come to life. They will make you want to investigate. If you get to that stage in your relationship then #DITCH girlfriend. That’s unacceptable behavior from your partner and yourself! You are becoming another person. That’s ugly. Oh! And by the way, omitting information is also considered a lie. Remember, a partner who lies cannot be trusted. Trust is easily broken and hard to piece back together.
- Inequality: Live together? Sharing is caring. Don’t live together? Caring is keeping yourself up when you are visiting. So put that plate in the dishwasher when you are finished. Mamma thought you that. Simple as that. If you find yourself catering to his every need, two words: RED FLAG. A relationship is 50/50 – so should the responsibilities. Plus, that means your partner is lazy. #Ain’tnobodygottimeforthat.
- Alienating you from your family: This one is quite a sneaky one because it usually happens without you realizing it. In my experience, it starts with a small comment about your saying the wrong thing unintentionally and #boom! …there goes your brother in the hate box. Rather rapidly, you may find yourself defending your family or alienating them completely for the sake of your relationship. If you notice he is trying to find ways to keep you all to himself, walk away.
- Physical abuse: This should be a post on its own but if you find yourself in that situation I am only going to say this: Be kind to yourself and find the courage to leave because you are worth much more.
We all deserve proper treatment. Relationships can be hard at times but it should never compromise mutual respect. What I learned is: The key is to respect each other in your differences while knowing who you are as a person and what your limits are. What can you live with? What is a deal breaker? I also learned that through the good, the bad and the ugly, you should be able to count on this person to meet you halfway or at least find someone humble enough to agree to disagree. Remember you deserve to find someone worth your time and energy. Your partner should lift you up when you are down and think the world of you. Because you deserve a worthy happy ending too.